What the fuck do I do! What the actual fuck do I do!Holly slipped her arm though his, initiating the walk together into school. Simon took a hasty step to follow. What else could he do. Then the whistling started. That was it. It now was as official as things officially became in school. She leaned against his shoulder and hugged his arm tightly, taking refuge behind her hair as she let it obscure her face. Simon had no such cover, his hair still bound securely in its ponytail.Girls stared and some took sly pictures of the ‘new’ couple. Some weren’t so sly in their picture taking. The boys just called out disparaging remarks. Simon now had an inkling as to how it felt to be famous. He didn’t much like the experience.It also turned out that being the other half of a couple also had other requirements, like sitting next to each other in class. A paper ball bounced off the side of his head and landed on his desk. There appeared to be writing on it. Simon unrolled the ball.: We give you. And Iwanted Mistress to be proud of me. I hoped to deliver all Her desires.Why would such a self-reliant guy need to please a new girlfriend sobadly? Lorain used to say that I was a decent "catch," if I wasn't soinsecure around women. Yet what I did, or didn't, offer, paled incomparison to my two underlying desires: acceptance and admiration.Those cravings were what my therapist was teaching me to manage.Validation and happiness are not quantifiable things, she said. But theycould develop through relationships with trusted lovers and peers, whorecognize our strengths and weaknesses - yet accept us, in ourcompleteness, anyway.My therapist had frequently reminded me that nobody gets everything inone package. Each of us is a tradeoff of lovable qualities, versus not-so-lovable ones. What if I loved the exhilarating praises of myMistress, but the tradeoff meant that I must play-act for Her, andbecome Her part-time sissy? I wasn't sure if I could pull off such aperformance. But to find.
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